Where the hell should I begin. Dann I don't know. I'll just let it flow from the heart. Before asking for money I gotta give you the whole story to make it make sense.

Some of you are just getting to know me, some of you have known me for 10 to 15 years, others go back to my early teens or even ny childhood. How long doesn't really matter I feel the same love. Thank you so much for the kind words, the hype that made me keep doibg what I do and like myself being in love with skateboarding and related things like filming, owning shops, building skateparks, designing and fashion. For the support, for wanting to get to know me or to some people accepting me back after a longass time. I've been away for at least 6 or 7 maybe even 8 years. Psychiatry and mental health can be a bitch. I'll say a bit more about that later on. I had no clue how big our scenes have become. As it should have. I knew this years ago that it improves the quality of life and being able to be flexible with things life may throw at you someday on your journey through this crazyass time we are here. Mine surely has been. You can't make this shit up but now 35 years old it is easier to see that I could've expected certain problems or should've been more aware of not just myself also my surrounndings. Before I go deeper in on certain shit I'd like to say to those that are young, coming up, have dreams, feeling like not having a care in the world I hope life will stay that way. If not hopefully I will say some shit that you can think about, make certain changes if needed or use it as advice for a loved one.

I started skateboarding somewhere arround 11 or 12 yo. Back then things were very very different. I would wait a week for seeing a little bit of footage in either Jackass on MTV or on the Youth Only Zone on the Eurosport channel. I was lucky enough to had taped PJ Ladds part in his Horrible Wonderfull life video. Go check that part on youtube if you haven't seen it and realize that shit came out in 2002. Far ahead of the whole world. It holds down til this day even 23 years later. That one I for sure call timeless. Okay so yeah two skaters from my town were on flow for 24Seven later called 247store. I was lucky enough to have better skaters arround me even in a town pretty far from Nijmegen. Also I started arround the same time as Sjefke and that dude has always been good. I would be stuck on fs crooks scared as shit of not locking in and fallling on my back, Sjefke would be learning how to tre shuv outta back tails, you get me? Slowly the two flow riders stopped skateboarding and got into girls and shit. Like I know we were different but to throw shit aside and lead wich seemed a more normal life I never really understood. Its crazy for me to think stopping after getting a flow deal and one could nosegrind like really long. Locked ih balanced as fuck the other had that Penny effect. Like he was sleeping on the board, mad style. If for ever reason they read this tho it were only a few shorts years Frank and Roy you guys were the first ones I looked up to. Them quiting made room for me and Sjefke to get on flow in 2007. Thats when I really started to get to know the Gz from Wijchen. Paul, Evert, AC and the rest of the crew. Sjefke and me were always bit different when it came to music and other interests outside of skateboarding. Tho the Gz from Wijchen were a perfect match. A lot of goodass hiphop, smoke weed skate, film and spoil. The flow part in the 247 x Frisco promo its clearly devided into two parts. First the montage and then Sjefke with his own indie song. Still good as shit ofcourse so it was only right he ended that section. By now Waalhalla was in early development and Sjefke through Damiaan started to feel more of a fit over there. Shoutout Sjefke also huge influence eventho our differences. I was like I said rolling with Wijchen being there more weekends than I can remember🙈 good fun tho really good times. We didn't know it early on but basicly filming for the 247store 10 year anniversary video. Not sure how I ended up making that part. Cause arround that time addiction took a hold of me. The harder drugs more towards the premiere in summer 2012 before that it was basicly drunk and stoned everyday. I remember getting faded behind the shop at 11 in the morning and Andor walking ny way to open the store seeing me like what the fuck are you doing Bino its like 11 in the morning dont you need to be in class or something. Not sure how I reacted but I felt like shit and probably got more wasted. There is something beautiful bout this part of my life tho. Casper came outta no where, like Nijmegen knew him, me beimg from Millingen didn't. He just wouldn't skate much. Basicly realized okay I should take this shit serious. He got on the team really fast. Skating and smoking a fuck load of weed. Just feeding of eachother and progressing but weird enough also while being high as hell. I would more kill myself for certain tricks while Casper would just keep clips stackin up. Where someone would get a trick he would get 3 on 1 spot. Funny thing I wanna mention btw the older skaters know that feeling when you really start to feel comfortable on the board and certain tricks you start to hit the trick going much faster than your early years. Like fuck wax speed it up. Best shit from that part I Ifilmed in a week wich I'm proud of but it was the heartbreak from my first girlfriend that made me just go faster and harder plus the hype from a shop video has its effects I tell you. This is probably why some get shit done faded. Life is so outta control we need to skate well just to feel a sense of control over life and feeling  happy. Can you imagine where I would be without skateboarding like dead maybe. Being so sensitive for addiction. So yeah I was lucky enough to end that video at the premiere. Casper had issues with Waalhalla wich made him not allowed to enter the building but if so its Caspers really gnarly progression in such a short time that would've ended the video. Or a shared part would have been awesome. Showing the vibe and mindset or mindcontrol we were in haha. Shortly after that video release mental health went from trying to keep it togther to having to be honest to myself and giving into the anxiety of social interactions to the point I didnt really wanted to be seen. I'm sure the scene back then would have questioned what was going on. Like very few times I'd be at the wedren and suddenly feeling the need to get somewhere safe fast and vanish. In summer 2014 I had to check myself into the mental health hospital. Just two or three months earlier I was asked by Peter from POP Trading Company to visit Amsterdam and meet the team. I tried to stay positive bout it but eventually told Peter I had to turn down the huge offer. knowing I couldnt even get on the train due to panic and paranoia. All the skateboarding I did arround that time might still look good but my legs felt really shaky. Just not relaxed, not in the legs nor my head. Trippin bout what people could be thinkin of me really made things even worse. Eventually I lost it completely and labeled paranoid schizophrenic. Thinking I was getting filmed with everything I did. It got really bad when I got that feeling while being inside. After trippin on Casper completely out of my mind he kept saying dude get help. Took a few weeks but so I did. Psychiatry is scary as shit, like worse than the movies. Also time seems to have its own way from the outside world. Like outside two weeks is two weeks. Inside two months could feel like two weeks. After the first month all the healthy in me made me call Casper and I said dude please dont hangup, I miss you man. He stayed on the phone and asked how I was doing. All the skateboarding towards the Bad Luck video I have to thank Casper for. Im pretty sure more people would have wanted to help, I just had serious trust issues,there were more times I would lose it but eventho the paranoid thoughts Caspers actions spoke louder than my paranoid thinking. We all know what happened so this I really wanna say to those that didn't know him that well or would witness his crazy anger sometimes, I thank my life to him, he couldve bailed, he stayed, kept me skateboarding, or just little momente washing his granddads car so I would be outta that hospital even just for a little bit. Somewhere in 2018 it did just not seem to get better with my mental health and we lost contact. Crying now that we couldve had a few extra years or maybe things wouldn't have gon wrong that took his life. I was staying in Wolfheze wich basicly means longterm psychiatry. Id you were lucky few years but it could be 30 years. I didn't feel that lucky. Then one day after Caspers funeral the news somehow made it to me and I broke. I still break a couple of times a week to this day. i cried at least two weeks I think, got mad, broke a lotta shit, but one night I just lighted a candle and started talking to him in my head. Saying sorry for not saying enough how much I loved him ant not letting him know it really meant a lot to me he stuck arround for as long as he possible could. Finally I said dude I can't seem to feel better I need your help, I can't do ths alone, ive tried every medication, therapy, I'm too much of living person, even inside, if this will be the next 30 years of my life I'm giving  up and overdose. I'm not religious at all but I am spiritual and the days, weeks, months even yeaers I started to feel normal again, stromger, wiser, grateful. Even after his death he looks after me. I still cry, crying right now, its a double feeling being gratefull yet wanting to be able to live life like it is now with him here but thats something I just have to deal with. I know hes not far, I just can't sse or hear him. After a couple of years I got on instagram with real strong feeling of purpose. Casper and I really loved skateboarding so much at one point we talked about doing something but my mental health had a huge creative block plus we had no idea where to begin and ended up trippin on something I don't know but it was a short vision that went away again. So about 1,5 years ago it started to get more clear to me what I needed to do and at that point the creative bomb went of in my head. And now we are 1,5 year into my project. Not sure how many decks its been but more than I could've wished for. Now I have the wish to take it next level, legit. Proper sponsor deals for a few rippers. Some that have become that good I'm blown away, if I have been an inspiration for todays talent I can be extremely proud. I also started to thinn bigger than Nijmegen. The world has changed while I was away. Its the instagram age, everyone is in someway connected eventho cities apart. I am seeing the world fall in love with that wich people made fun of me for. We weren't that weird afterall, hate to say I told you so. Yes it can be something to compete in but what makes urban sports different from others is that we all wanna see eachother win, yes the battles are personal but we like to do it together for the love and progression for all of us. We see the bigger picture. Like lets be honest things like happiness and succes feel so much better when shared.😊

So to end this story with the qeustion I'm on this platform for. I want to try to make this project PLANKENKOORTS bigger and legit so I can give back to the culture, keep Caspers spitit alive, get people involved that can help with clothes, basicly create somethimg more creative and people related to our scene can benefit from. As hype, or a creative outlet whatever. One thing I've learned over the years is that life can be short, it can pass you by, think big dream big and tell your loved ones how much you care about them and thankfull for them being one of the reasons you are the person you are today.

Love,

Bino
 

To add a little bit of scientific information, there could possibly be a connection between albinism and schizophrenia, but both diagnoses or conditions are so rare it's hard to like even study them. Also, our skin is our biggest organ and has its effects on the way we deal with stress, so that could also be something that my condition makes me different from others. The thing is, within skateboarding I never had to question acceptance or respect. Our world can learn a lot from our culture. Reason why I didn't mentioned it in my journey. if anything it became a power. Us skaterats love the nickname game haha.❤️